I went to the hospital today to get a check up and get an allergy treated. When the result of my check up came in, I received some disturbing news. I wasn’t sure whether to cry or panic, but I did neither. I asked a few questions, thanked the doctor for her time, picked up my prescription and left.
I think a backstory will make the whole thing more understandable. I started wearing glasses about eight years ago. The doctors diagnosed me to be short-sighted, photophobic and I had astigmatism. It made no sense to me, all I knew was that I got to wear glasses. I’ve always liked glasses, and I was thrilled to have a legitimate excuse to wear glasses round the clock. I made sure my first pair came with a cute nerdy rope to hang the glasses around my neck.
I thought that was about it. All I had to do was wear my glasses every time, and I’d be fine. Over the past eight years, I’ve worn seven pairs of glasses…from rectangular frames to cat-eye frames. I already plan on switching to round frames in Law School.
The thing with having an eye defect is that one needs to visit the hospital for a check up regularly. However, I didn’t take my check up seriously. I hate eye tests. They strain my eyes and make me tired. So, I skipped them unless my glasses broke and I needed new ones.
Sometime last year, my eyes began to itch so bad, I had to go back to the hospital and I was given an eyedrop to treat the allergy. I also took some eye tests and the doctor found my intraocular pressure (eye pressure, just like blood pressure) to be a bit too high. This meant I had tendencies for glaucoma in the nearest future. I don’t know much about glaucoma except that it leads to permanent blindness once it sets in. It’s incurable. But if it is discovered early, it can be managed and one would be placed on medication for life.
I went back a few weeks later and my eye pressure was back to normal but I was asked to come back every six months to be on the safe side. My eyes began to itch again a few days ago and I went back to the hospital (seven months after my last check up), and the doctor checked my eye pressure. One had shot up again, not enough to be alarming, but enough to cause the doctor to remind me that my eyes are very susceptible to glaucoma.
I’m not yet 21 and I’m being told that I have the potential to go permanently blind in the nearest future. Rather than seeing it as something to panic about, I’m seeing it as an opportunity to be healed! Jesus did not die for a blind me, he died to make me whole. Maybe it’s a call for me to ditch my glasses, and receive the healing only God can give. Far too long, I’ve hidden behind my glasses, taking on the role of the shy nerdy girl. Maybe it’s time to step into the me God says I am.
I’m going to miss wearing my glasses for sure, but if God’s calling me to be healed, then farewell glasses! As I write this, I feel doubt knocking softly on my heart: what if God doesn’t heal you? I guess it’s an opportunity to grow my faith in him. No matter what, I ain’t gonna go blind. Fear came late, I already chose faith.