Y’all know I’ve been single for a while now, and I don’t mind. Being single has been very good for me. It’s a season I’m totally enjoying. I want to get married someday and have my own family, but until God makes it happen, I’ll keep rocking the gift of singleness He’s given me.
I wasn’t always like this. Truth be told, I struggled terribly with being single. I was discontent, unhappy and frustrated. My emotions were all over the place and I kept going from crush to crush. I kept bruising my heart and inflicting unnecessary pain and rejection on myself.
One day I decided it was going to end. I didn’t want to keep catching feelings for every Tom, Dick and Harry, and even if I did, I was not going to act on them. I wanted to enjoy the season and let God write my love story. So, I gave him my raving emotions and threw myself into loving and serving him. That was the beginning of contentment for me.
The first thing was that I began to spend more time with God. I made sure I read my Bible and prayed regularly, served in church, and invested in godly friendships. I also read a ton of books, listened to sermons and watched YouTube videos to learn about a godly approach towards singleness. I realised that God was truly all I needed. With him, single is a whole number. And for once, I was content with my season.
I also realised that I had to set boundaries around my heart. A thumb rule I live by is not to entertain fantasies, daydreams or any form of imagination about any guy I’m not married to. This means all the guys in my life at the moment. This has helped me keep my feelings in check, and that’s why I haven’t had a crush in months. Don’t get me wrong, I’m attracted to godly young men, but I don’t feed my attractions. I don’t think about them or imagine anything romantic. Whenever they come to mind, I picture stuffing the thoughts into a box, locking the box and throwing it into the ocean. That might be a bit extreme, but it’s helped me maintain a clear head and fight against lust.
I really desire a strong and intimate marriage that honours God someday, but I know it starts with how I live as a single girl. I want my future husband to know that I waited for him with purity of heart and integrity. I want him to know that I can be emotionally faithful as well as physically. Above all, I want God to be glorified in every season of my life. I don’t know when I’ll meet him, but I’ll be ready when I do. Until then, I am content with just Jesus. Even if he doesn’t show up, I’m content with just Jesus.
I challenge you today to choose contentment in your single season. You don’t have to live bitter and miserable. That’s not God’s design for the gift he’s given to you. He wants you to thrive, not endure it. He wants to write your love story. Quit struggling beloved, and allow him.