Struggling with sexual sin

Have you ever wondered why God gave us all these raging hormones and intense feelings, yet he asks us not to express them until we’re married. It’s like giving a child a box of tantalizing chocolates and asking him not to open them until a day or time that may never come.

I feel like that a lot of times. I think there’s just something about being young that makes us burn with passion. Even the Apostle Paul recognises this. The world that we live in does not make things easier. Everywhere you go, something about sex is thrown into your face. Sex has been idolised and made the newest trend. It’s like a train every young person wants to catch.

At one point or the other, we’ll be sorely tempted to give in to the demands of our flesh and if you’re like me, I have given in a couple of times too many. But this was quite a while ago y’all. So, don’t judge, just raise your hand if you’ve been in the struggle or are still struggling.

I’m not perfect. I had a messed-up past and I’ll share a bit on how God delivered me and the structures I have put in place to avoid falling into sexual sin anymore.

I think for me it started with reading those cursed romance novels, Harlequin and the rest. They put crazy thoughts in my head and filled me with unrealistic ideas and warped notions of relationships and sex. I had always known that God condemns sex outside marriage but over time, I started to accept that sex outside marriage isn’t so bad. I was too scared to have sex though, the thought of getting pregnant scared me silly and so I never dabbled into it but I went as far as I could without doing the actual thing.

Okay, here’s me being super vulnerable and open with y’all. And it’s because I know many people are really struggling with sexual sin and the lie the devil feeds them is that they are alone in this and so they sink deeper into it, too afraid to speak up and get help. You are not alone, beloved! I’ve been there and God has delivered me.

Eventually, I stumbled upon pornography and then became addicted. Of course, masturbation soon followed and the unending struggle began. It was hell. I was like a slave to my desires. I could not control my urges and I honestly felt as though I was in bondage. I knew I needed help desperately but I was too ashamed to ask for help. I was scared of being judged and so I kept quiet and suffered in silence.

But God being so faithful, I started to be set free. Freedom for me was a process. I’d stay ‘clean’ for like 3 weeks and then lapse. With time, the distances began to grow longer. I had to make tough choices though, I cut out movies completely because the tiniest thing could trigger the addiction. I cut out romantic novels, I became more deliberate with using social media. I changed my association, made sure I was only into Christian entertainment and got more serious with my faith-walk etc. I most likely would have achieved progress better by being accountable to someone else but shame didn’t let me. But God being so gracious, helped me!

Now, how do I manage these desires after being completely free from addictions? I like to visualize sex and all its accomplices like a box. I have opened the box before but I have also forced the lid shut, so I acknowledge that it’s going to be harder for me to keep it shut after opening it before. So I don’t take chances.

I still hardly watch movies and I usually screen them before I do. I prefer watching animations because they are safer. I am very deliberate about the kind of books I read now. I am also very cautious with my thoughts. All these shenenigans start with a single thought, so I am very careful as regards the kind of thoughts I entertain.

Anyway, the point is if you’re struggling with sexual sin, then this is for you. You are not alone. I have been there and I stand as a witness to say that God can deliver you. If he can me, then he definitely can deliver you. Don’t lengthen the process of freedom like I did, get help! Please, open up to a trusted person and set solid structures.

And if you haven’t fallen into my shoes, trust me, I can still relate. The struggle to be pure is real but since God expects it of us, his grace is sufficient for us! Don’t cave in, don’t give in to the desires of the flesh because it’s not worth it, honestly. As the Bible puts it: The end is death.

Please, stay pure!

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18 thoughts on “Struggling with sexual sin

  1. The genuineness of this post is resounding Eniola😊. I could honestly relate to some of the stages you went through. Lust is one of the most powerful weapons the devil uses to derail God’s children. But as you did, we have to be so intentional about our journey to sanctification. I love how God uses our broken stories to mirror his grace and his power to transform. It gives people hope, that they too can be set free, when we share our stories! More courage to you Sis! 💞😊

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  2. The Bible views the body as something important; something to be taken care of and used in God’s service, not used as a sexual toy.
    Put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual sin, impurity, lust, and shameful desires. Don’t be greedy for the good things of this life, for that is idolatry. God’s terrible anger will come upon those who do such things. You used to do them when your life was still part of this world. But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. Don’t lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old evil nature and all its wicked deeds. In its place you have clothed yourselves with a brand-new nature that is continually being renewed as you learn more and more about Christ, who created this new nature within you. Colossians 3:5-10.
    God bless

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  3. Hi Eni! First I’d say a takes a whole lot of confidence, strength and grace to write this much personal stuff out there. It’s like letting everyone realize we’re not as perfect as we look and admitting we’ve made past mistakes we’re not proud of. Trust me, it takes the Holy Spirit to do this and I’m glad he has helped you to understand how much confidence we possess simply being believers.

    And this topic in particular is pretty sensitive yeah, thanks for writing on it and touching lives out there. Don’t stop writing, don’t stop making a difference!

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  4. Telling people that masterbation and porn inherently lead to addiction is incorrect and harmful.
    The vast majority of people do both of these relatively regularly and never end up developing addictive tendencies.
    The reason why people who practice religion seem to get addicted to porn so often is because they have been brainwashed to repress their sexualities, and then it all explodes out with compelling force when the lid pops off.
    It’s really, really unhealthy for adults to live like that.

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  5. I don’t even think you realise how strong you are to share this post! I’d give you a hug if you were here lol — I’m mushy like that.

    Sexual sin is something that a lot of us struggle from. I have recently been fast-forwarding through any sex scene in movies and I didn’t even realise why I was doing it until I read this post.

    I’m sharing this post everywhere. It’s by far the most helpful post I’ve ever come across

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  6. Reblogged this on Something to Stu Over and commented:
    This post meant a lot to me for multiple reasons. One being that women are becoming addicted to porn and masturbation at an alarming rate and it breaks my heart.

    Eniola is a voice shouting at the monster and saying there is freedom.

    The second reason this meant so much to me was that a dear friend mentioned the whole box scenario to me just the other day and to then read it here was a confirmation to me. My lid to that box is closed and put away not to be opened again. Here is what Eniola had to say about the box…”I have opened the box before but I have also forced the lid shut, so I acknowledge that it’s going to be harder for me to keep it shut after opening it before. So I don’t take chances.”

    Liked by 1 person

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